He'll Carry You

Well, There are some days that are harder then others in this life, and I am having one of the harder days. Owen had a job interview that seemed hopeful, but turned out to be just another so sorry, we loved you, but decided to hire someone else who better fits the job. This letter, like many others have crushed my heart over and over again. I know that things happen in the Lords time, but I have been praying so hard for that time to come before we lose are house. I love being here in my house so much, although it's not a big house, it's my house. Owen and I have worked so hard for what we have and when he was laid off, I would have never imagined it would be like this so many years later. We just thought things would get better, find another job and would pick ourselves back up again. That's not how things are working out. Year after year, it has become harder and harder. We have become so far away from where we were, that it's hard to remember what it was like to have stable jobs and income. I am good at acting like everything is great and dandy, while on the inside crying to myself in fear for what's to come. I know we should not live in fear, but have the faith we need in the Lord to carry us through our trials. The truth is when you have all these little lives you are in charge of looking to you for everything, it's really hard to smile and say every things going to be just fine, when your not sure yourself that they really are. I know we have trials in our lives to make us stronger, and that we go through them to learn the things we need to learn here on earth. I have begged God to just tell me what it is that we must learn, so we can move passed this point that we are stuck in. I have told him that I am kind of a blond, so maybe he needs to tell me straight up what it is we need to know and learn. I have come to the understanding that it doesn't work that way. I am ok with waiting for the Lord to answer our prayers and lead us to the place we need to be, but I am human. I live with doubt and fear at times, and sometimes wonder how strong I really am and how much I can handle. I am not sure where we will even end up moving, but Owen is bringing home boxes every week. The reality of our situation makes me sad, but I know that where ever we end up, is where we are meant to be. God has a plan for each of us, and sometimes that plan has lots of ups and downs. He gives us the strength to endure the downs so that we can be grateful for the ups. Even though, I feel as if we have more downs then ups lately, he has been there for us every step of the way. This is just a small glimpse into my life, but there are many others in the world, who are struggling to make it through this life the best they can. Many who are going through unthinkable trials, but I know one thing for sure. He will carry me, and he will carry you!