Running on empty

It goes like this... Kids, Owen, Work, homework, school, house, church... How does that look to you? Do you see taking care of myself anywhere? Nope me either... I started working at my job about 5 1/2 months ago and for the last 5 months I have just been really sick back and for to the Doctor on antibiotic after antibiotic, pain pills, cough medication with codeine so I can sleep... Now I am on a new antibiotic for the next month to see if that will work and more testing to see what else is going on... I threw school into the mix and WOW talk about running on empty... I feel as if I have nothing left!!! To this day am still worried about everyone else and everything else except myself... Things have come to the point where I have to start making changes that will help me... I have a lot of praying to do to figure things out. I know that if I leave things to the Lord he will put me in the right place... Do you see what else is wrong with the order of my life? Yes church is last on the list... Now with that, how could things possibly get better for me? When I started my job I had every other Sunday off then it went to every forth Sunday and now it's every sixth Sunday... I feel as if I have lost myself in the mist of everyday life... My soul is wanting so badly to be nourished, but nothing... Why? Because I NEVER go to church... This part of my life is not helping... I know better and I know without the Lord in my life I can't get to where I need to be... It's not just me, but my kids also... I can feel the change in my home since Owen and I have been gone on Sundays... It has become a day just like any other day and that is NOT what I want... I feel I am missing out on the most important part of life and that is the Gospel... I need to be strengthened each week to help me get through the everyday challenges that just seem to just appear... I am putting myself into the Lords hands tonight to help me make the decisions I need to... That's not the hard part for me because I do this all the time... It's change that's hard for me... Fear of the unknown... I need not fear if I am being lead by the Lord... He is the only one that truly knows me and my every need... I can't tell you how thankful I am to have a relationship with the Lord... To know that he really knows me and loves me... I have a lot of changes to make in my life before my tank will begin to fill, but that's the best part of life here on earth... We have the chance to change and better ourselves... The Lord is always waiting to hear from us we just have to ask... Take it from me you are important so take care of yourself... Don't let your tank run on empty...